Deaddy Bears Picnic.


A tour bus is a very masculine place, even with a bunch of fey lightweights like us on it. (Jamie pointed out this morning that our obsession with watching Grey's Anatomy and eating at Whole Foods makes us the most un-rock and roll touring party ever...). That said - and I have to be quick as I've just downloaded a new episode and I'm hoping to watch it by stage time; I mean, wtf is going on with Meredith these days?! - with 8 men living in close quarters with one another it can't help but get a bit blokey on the bus. (I bet even Japan's tour bus did the same). So, as if to counteract this, teddy bears started appearing at truck stops - I guess flowers aren't a good option as a humanising touch on a tour bus. We have 5 bears now littering the seats, and in some cases, and I'm naming no names, bunks.




Then one morning in Houston - and it had to be Texas, too, didn't it? - I woke up to find one of the bears stabbed through the heart. This brought out the creative streak in the murderer because later jam was smeared over its chest like blood and the following morning the bear had a skull head. Later still, one of it's brothers was found hanging from the roof.



I don't know whether to be upset that we can't leave anything nice alone, or relieved that we haven't all softened so much that we're no longer men enough to murder a poncy teddy bear when it sits in our seat.

I will say this however, if anyone touches the teal bunny I will fucking maim them.