The Scottish Play:


I’ve got a cold. I think I got it in that damp, stinky club in Leeds. Did I mention the dressing rooms reeked of damp paint fumes? Class. It’s just about to take me out for a day or so – I can tell. I’m cranky, runny nosed, very tired…actually apart from the runny nose that’s pretty much business as usual for me.

After the Leeds show we drove to Sheffield for the night. Our hotel overlooked the Wicker and the Holiday Inn. This is the river Jarvis sang about in the Wickerman. Because of my friends in the city I have an affection for Sheffield and always like being here, even when the view is less than stellar. Brian, our guitar tech’, was telling me about the time he slept in the bar of this Holiday Inn after a session on a Wet Wet Wet tour. I used to work for Pulp. When Pulp played Top of the Pops (1994?) and Wet Wet Wet had been Number 1 for about three years with Love Is All Around Jarvis hid a sign in his coat that he flashed to the camera. It said I HATE WET WET WET and went out live. I’d completely forgotten about that until now. Happy Days.




Yesterday we drove across the moors to Manchester. Amazing bleak countryside that this photo, taken while I was driving along at 70mph doesn't really do it justice. Manchester was a good show but the thing that cheered me up the most was seeing The Holy Name Church opposite the venue. I may be mistaken (there might be several Churches so named in Manchester) but it made me think this was the Church named in The Smith’s Vicar in a Tutu. (“I was minding my business, lifting some lead off the roof of the Holy Name Church. It was worthwhile living a laughable life, to set my eyes on the blistering sight, of a Vicar in a tutu….”). It’s the little things that make me happy.





My I-pod died today. It just stopped working. It’s about 2 1/2 years old so I suppose the little fucker was due (my last one lasted about the same amount of time). Apple must be building them with some kind of spacc’ed out power supply so that they die sooner rather than later. Fortunately at home in New York I’d just backed everything up onto a hard drive via Ipod Rip so I’m a very happy boy – not counting the fact I’ve got another 3 weeks to go without and Ipod. Oh, God. I’ll have to talk to people. Oh sweet Jesus, please: make it stop…..

We drove through the border country today between England and Scotland. It’s one of the most beautiful places in the country. The mountains were covered with black clouds, heavy with rain. The sun stayed at 45 degrees all day (it rarely gets higher in the winter here). This meant the light was clear and sharp if not very warm. The contrast was never better seen than when a flock of about thirty birds swooped and dived in a circle. One minute their dark backs were almost lost against the black clouds, the next minute their silver underbellies glinted like new blades in the sunlight before they wheeled around again. The mountains were covered in patchy brown gorse and autumnal heather, the grass was a vivid green. It was breathtaking. It made me want to move here to write and get healthy in the fresh air.

We passed Penrith. This was the setting for Withnail and I, one of the best British Movies ever made, ever. If you haven’t seen it go buy a copy on DVD. Then watch it, and try not to quote it all the time. I wanted to stop off and go to the tea-rooms, but we didn’t have time. In fact, I was going to buy them and fire everyone....

In Glasgow we all got bought fish and chips from a place called McMonagle’s in Clydebank. It was without a shadow of a doubt the best Fish and Chips I’ve had since I was a boy on holiday in Devon. Outstanding. It’s hard to get good stuff like that now as production of almost all fast food is so homogenized and has little to do with quality. Did I ever mention the McLibel trial and the documentary about the two people ( a postman and a gardener) who wouldn't apologise to McDonalds for saying their food is crap, btw? That’s another good movie – albeit a documentary. McLibel. I hate McDonalds and that f***ing clown with a vengance. This story made me realise what an insidious influence they really are.

See? Cranky.....

Tonight is off (we got back from the radio at 11PM so some night off). I’m staying in to feel tired and coldy and to get some sleep. Don’t let anyone tell you we’re not living the dream.