Northern Europe:

Back in Blighty I spent a weekend catching up with friends. Living overseas makes me miss everyone so much. On this visit I got to go to the Tate Modern for the first time ever and saw some great pieces, my favourite being the Fischli and Weiss exhibit. Mad Swiss artists. The film of the Bear and the Rat is genius. The Tate Modern is such a good building too. When I left London a decade agothis part of the City was a dead area; it made me happy to see the City develop so much. In America I miss the sense of history and culture that’s evident in all the major European cities. I miss Europe a lot these days.

I went to visit my hometown to spend time with my family. Although the city has come on a lot since I lived there and feels cleaner and more welcoming than it did fifteen years ago or so it’s still very quiet and closes up completely at night. I went out at 11PM to try to buy a Mars Bar (well, that was a pretext…) but couldn't find anything open – not even a petrol station. Weird.

Late night Coventry. This used to be a Wimpy Cafe in the 70's, now it's a listed building as an example of post-war architecture. Class.



And this is the Devil on the side of Coventry Cathedral. When we were kids on school trips we'd giggle at his willy as it looked like a milk bottle (and we know it's not after doing the corporate gig in October. We know exactly what the Devil's Willy looks like now: it's a Hennessy Bottle). Thirty years later and I'm still giggling at the Devil's Willy. And don't pretend you're not going to click on the photo to look...



Coventry finally has it's own food specialty to crow about. The noble Pork-Batch. At last, a cuisine I can call my own. Cooked pork on a roll with stuffing. Simple, classic, and unhealthy. This cart is a recent addition to the precinct but you've got to love the captioning. Coventry, where crap jokes are given pride of place. Truly makes me proud, and explains a lot too.



From the Midlands I flew to Amsterdam. One of my oldest and bestest friends is playing guitar for George Michael and I didn’t want to miss the chance to see him (However I missed seeing Neko Case and Cat Power to see George Michael - I'm either on the turn or an exceptionally good friend). The show was exactly as you’d expect – professional, slick, packed with hits and very good. I have to say more power to George as he gets to throw in a few barbed comments during the set with the visuals, as this picture of an inflatable George Bush getting blown by a British Bulldog shows. Wonder if he’ll use this on the US Tour? Or at Earls Court, for that matter.



I had my final day in Europe in Amsterdam. It was a rare treat to be in the city without an entourage of stoners all gagging about numbing themselves into comas. (to be fair last time it was only a couple of people, but it was enough to have me spitting bile for the entire visit) The air was crisp, the light amazing and I get off on hearing all the different languages spoken. The Dutch have a great way of saying English slang expressions and sounding more English than the English. The guy in a record store where I bought a Burt Bacharach compilation managed to say, “Mind ‘ow you go.” to me when I paid for the CD. Like he came from Deptford.

I had a great time wandering around and my friend took me to a load of commercial art galleries. There were prints of Dali and Picasso on sale for Euro 3000. I was tempted. Maybe when I go back at the end of the month…

Flying home, the nice lady at KLM check-in let me off my overweight baggage fee, which was kind of her and means I’ll try to fly KLM when I can from now on. Nice people.

Sadly, during my 5 hour layover at Heathrow I had to start hearing idiots in American’s Business Class lounge. Why is it stupid, opinionated people can’t help being loud? On the flight I was sat next to a man who was reading Bill O’ Reilly’s book in Hardback. Why would you want to buy that guff in hardback? (The Book is Called Culture Warrior and outlines his battle to prevent someone turning the US into an image of Western Europe. The preface is as self-serving and self-aggrandizing as I could stomach, but people buy this – in hardback. That’s just plain weird.) The guy also never said please and thank you to the attendants as they served him drinks. That’s piggish. And you know how I hate bad manners….

To take my mind of the violence that I felt towards the fascist ‘muncher sat next to me I made a list of all the good books I’ve just read this past two weeks, and the genius playlist on my I-pod that I’ve been listening to for the past few days and that I’d recommend to you all. Buying 10-hole Doc Martens from Holts in Camden and listening to Madness on the tube home is still one of the best London feelings a kid from the Midlands can get. Listening to Metal Guru while walking along the canal on Prinsen Gracht on the way to meet your date is another legendary feeling; a way to feel invincible with super-powers. How can you not feel invincible with that guitar sound blowing through your head? How can you not?


MADNESS – EMBARRASSMENT
IAN DURY – HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK / WHAT A WASTE
XTC - MAKING PLANS FOR NIGEL / MAYOR OF SIMPLETON
FLEETWOOD MAC – BIG LOVE / TUSK
T REX – METAL GURU
THE SMITHS – THIS CHARMING MAN
ROXY MUSIC - LOVE IS THE DRUG
JACKIE TRENT - MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF ( i think this is better than Scott Walker's version...)
DIONNE WARWICK – I’LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN
DUSTY SPRINGFIELD – THE LOOK OF LOVE
OK GO – A MILLIONS WAYS
SHAKIRA – WHENEVER, WHATEVER
EDDIE FLOYD – BIG BIRD
THE THE – SLOW TRAIN TO DAWN
THE SMITHS – I STARTED SOMETHING I COULDN’T FINISH
THE SPECIALS – GANGSTERS
BRITNEY SPEARS - TOXIC
THE WONDERSTUFF - IT'S YER MONEY I'M AFTER, BABY
NICK CAVE – SUPERNATURALLY
PAUL WELLER – INTO TOMORROW / YOU DO SOMETHING TO ME
DAVID BOWIE – I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU / PABLO PICASSO
GRANDADDY – ALBUM OF THE YEAR

BOOKS:
Alan Bennett – 3 Stories
M J Hyland – Carry Me Down / How The Light Gets In
Henry Green – Loving / Living (Living is the only book I've ever read written entirely in a Birmingham accent - It's bloody boss, it am).
Paul Bowles – Collected Stories
Issac Babel - Collected Stories