My Luggage:


So I love Vancouver, except for one tiny little detail. During our show some thieving pikey bastard went into the bays under our bus and stole three suitcases. Two of which were mine and one of which was Steve's, our guitarist. Whoever did it had brass balls and must've come with a car because my cases are so heavy I can barely carry them through an airport myself; Steve's wasn't light either.

Steve lost about $2000 worth of clothes. I lost about $8500 worth of suits, burberry overcoats, expensive luggage, British leather boots, the works. On one hand I couldn't really care less about the stuff - its only stuff and at least no one was hurt - but it'll be such a drag to replace it as I get most of my clothes in England. (Which begs another question - as I dress like a banker, both in actuality and as per cockney rhyming slang) who the f*** in Vancouver will want to dress like me? I know it was part of the commonwealth and all but really....

We didn't find out until the morning when I checked into the hotel in Seattle and opened the bus bays to get my bags. Fuckers.

Because I'm such a picky tart when it comes to clothes I really don't want to buy just any old thing to replace the stuff I lost but I had to go to Old Navy and the Gap when I first found out to get some essentials. Consequently I feel like I'm dressed to deliver pizza these days. Vanity, always vanity. (And I hate quoting Margaret Thatcher but she's right. That was her reply when she was asked what was the worst thing about working with men. And for the record she should be tried for treason for what she did to Britain in the late seventies / early eighties, in my opinion. Evil government. *Shudders*).

Anyway, I hope the person who's got our clothes is too short and fat to get into them. I hope htey all have size 12 feet so they can't wear my Australian man boots. And if they do wear anything, I hope when they nod out on smack in whatever khazi they habitate I hope they're stabbed in their sleep by another pikey and bleed out into my Brooks Brother's sweaters and replica 1970's Coventry City Away Strip. But apart from that, I'm over it.

Tossers.