First Porn Star.


This is the Burges. It looks kind of bland here but when I was growing up this place was treacherous at the weekends after 10:30PM because it's where all the chip shops, kebab shops, bus stops and taxi ranks were. This meant that late at night all of the drunken hordes who'd been filling themselves with rum and coke, strong lager, and cider and black came here to get chips or find taxis. There were always fights; every night, and always some girl caterwauling in white high heels clutching her chips. It was good training. I think people from small cities in England develop a 6th sense about violence out of necessity, and often the ability to become invisible. These are spiteful places because the towns and cities are so small there's a good chance that if you get into a ruck with someone you'll see them again the next week. And there's fuck all to do in places like this except dance and drink and screw, like the song says. Only in Coventry blokes never danced much and to chat up girls they favoured beating up all the other blokes in the room as a mating ritual. Aah, the good old days. God knows what it's like now...probably the same with hoodies and more kitchen knives.





Lady Godiva who mysteriously rode through the city naked to reduce taxes on the people. I'm not sure if I was an evil landowner that my wife riding a horse through town with her kit off would encourage me to lower taxes, but whatever. Maybe I missed that class in evil squire school...? Anyway, as it's part of the city's history every hour, on the hour, a naked plastic woman on a horse pops out of the clock tower in the City Centre to give us all a pervy thrill. Oh, and the bloke covering his eyes above is the original peeping Tom, who supposedly went blind after copping an eyeful of the naked posh bird on a horse riding down the street. Whether this was because of divine retribution or excessive self-abuse, historical records are unclear.